lame.

i literally could not give less of a fuck.

so i heard this ‘pizza’ shit finds every post he’s in. 

try. me. now.

guys are like, you know you wore that makeup for me.

well, actually, I was going to use it as an excuse to not have to give you a blowjob later

mom: you fingered a girl?!

son: don’t worry mom i wore gloves